sons are like birds flying always over the mountain

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh not much to say but I feel like I haven't updated in a while soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo yeahski

I wrote this in 5 minutes in creative writing when asked to write a short story about a potential conflict in a supermarket:


As Jeff eyed the last box of Oreo Cakesters, needed to satisfy his late night munchies, he sensed another presence eying said box. It was a man by the name of Albert, the town's snack officianado. For a moment, the two stared each other down, saying nothing. Then suddenly, Albert grabbed the box and started running.

Jeff, in all his 345 pound glory, knew he couldn't chase Albert for more than 12 seconds without falling over to his untimely death. However, the snack aisle was conveniently placed adjacent to the lobster tank. Jeff knew what to do in dire situations such as this.

The large man grabbed 4 of the sea creatures, threw them as far as he could, and prayed for his plan to work.

"There's a lobster on my head for the love of god!", cried Mrs. Henderson, the town overreactor. Jeff's plan had worked. Suddenly, Mrs. Henderson was running around as though someone had set her on fire. When it came to the point that the red claws fell over her eyes, she ran into a series of shelves, initiating a domino-like chain reaction. One such shelf fell on Albert, the weight instantly killing him.

As people screamed around him in horror, Jeff walked over to the corpse, took the box from the arm protruding  from the shelf, paid for it and walked out of the store.

"Nobody gets in the way of me and my Cakesters", he said badassly and put on his sunglasses. The 38 year old man walked home, returned to his mother's basement, got under his Star Wars sheets, and the incident was never spoken of again.

I'm not one to post too often but Greg singed his arm hair today while making kosher hot dogs and I thought everyone should know BUT DON'T WORRY HE'S OKAY

Dean Laurence popped, locked, and dropped it last night more times than I thought humanly possible. I was halfway through writing an entry about the whole drama shit on friday but as nice as it would've been to get off my chest it wouldn't have helped, so I just talked it out with him and we're good now. I really hope it was a misunderstanding and not just someone trying to start shit, I'm not into reliving 7th grade or my childhood in general

Well last night was pretty nice I guess. As much as I enjoy seeing people, taking care of some drunk freshmen wasn't the greatest. Steve should really not let his brother do the shit he does, he's only 14. I think he was like emotionally unprepared for being wasted, he was really upset and just wanted someone to hold onto him. I dunno, I just wish he wasn't following Steve's example but that's Steve's problem not mine. Besides that it wasn't too bad but I'm still not sure why I swam in my clothes. More than once. Hopefully my shoes aren't pwned but hey shoes are shoes. I had a dream I woke up and the shoes turned completely brown and I threw them out but wherever I went they came back to haunt me. No more food before bed for me. It was nice talking to Emily Haight and Ally Davis because it was like gym without Wilman and being hit in the head with a basketball (I swear to god it happens every year)

Hello livejournal. I made a livejournal for the first time since 7th grade as a result of boredom. Yesterday was the first day of school. Today was the second day of school. I told my chemistry teacher my dad's a dinosaur. A t rex specifically. My English teacher is an African tribal leader who lets me sit on her couch. Mr. Zartler is kind of creepy, but in the vein of many past history teachers of mine he already has his own theme song, due to his resemblance to Peter Parker. Greg and CJ were over yesterday, but then my mom flipped out because they wanted Chinese food, she's always flippin mad hard. We then gtfoed over to Lotus East, enjoyed some genuine Chinese cuisine, CJ went home, we met up with Steve, went back to my house to watch some youtube, they went home, I did whatever it is I do on the internet for a while, did my English homework before bed, slept, went to school again today, schooled some more, went to CJ's, drank iced tea from a can, got lemon juice in a packet, went home, chillaxed, whatever. I'm supposed to eat dinner soon but I'm not hungry. Oh yeah I cut my thumb on an umbrella who I named Ted and thought I could be friends with but he proved he couldn't be trusted so I hid him behind my fence.